Can’t find that airline on the Internet? Just wait a while. As things now trend every airline will soon be “nudist airlines” because the only safe way to fly will be in the nude. To be sure, even in the nude, we may be subject to discreet searches of body cavities in little booths on the way to nudist runway. Where is that explosive? It’s in the mail, it’s in the bag, it’s in the shoe, it’s in the underpants. Mad Magazine has morphed into reality. I’ll bet money technicians are now hard at work on the explosive in the denture. “Please check your dentures with the attendant,” the nude passengers will be told. You want some nice reading material while on the airplane? Here comes Skin-Kindle, the temporary tattoo device. You can download that book right onto your thighs or, if you have the room for it, onto that spreading tire across your middle. We. Shall. Be. Safe. Count on it. Technology to the rescue. And think of the romances that might start aboard all those Nudist Flights… A bit hard on the aging, to be sure, but then, for a while, anyway, there will still be cars.
Filed under: Airlines, Transportation Tagged: | Terrorism, Travel
Thank you for this light-hearted look at the new safety regulations by the airlines. I was sure I wasn’t the only one who thinks all of these “safety” measures, ever more restrictive, are ludicrous.
And I did in fact hear somebody suggest on a call-in show this week that we should all be stripped down and forced to fly in hospital gowns, so you’re not as far from what’s being discussed as I would hope.
My favorite of the new proposals is that everybody on international flights should be under “seat arrest” for the last hour of the flight. I can’t possibly imagine how that’s supposed to make anybody the tiniest bit safer.
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